Emojis: When & Why You Should Use Them
80% of human communication is non-verbal. Our words and word choices are often the focus of communication studies, but there is much more to our understanding of one another than what we type or say. We provide additional information, context, and emotional value through other channels: our tone of voice, our volume or speed of speaking, whether we're using our own voice or doing an impression, our facial expression, how we're moving our body to give social cues—these are just a few non-verbal aspects of spoken communication!
Infants develop the ability to understand facial expressions and tone of voice within the first few months of life, before their language-centers develop. That is how important non-verbal cues are to understanding one another and navigating the world. As we grow into adulthood, we become masters at interpreting non-verbal aspects of communication. This skill helps us stay in-tune with our loved ones and the various communities we're part of (the workplace, our hobbies, and our neighborhood). Our highly-developed skill of reading non-verbal communication is why we can tell when a family member is upset before they say a word to us—we've learned their non-verbal cues so that we can respond to their needs and be present for them.
Modern communication is increasingly written over verbal.
For the last hundred years humans used radio, telephone, then television to share important information. These earlier technologies included non-verbal aspects of human communication. We can hear a tremor in an announcer's voice before giving us bad news. We can see compassion on the faces of nightly news broadcasters. We continued to receive non-verbal cues which help us to process information... and also help us connect with our feelings and understand one another's internal experience. Seeing one another’s faces and hearing different voices is part of what helps us feel closer to our community.
With the rise of email, texting, and direct messaging, we're losing upwards of 80% of our communication. We're losing the non-verbal aspects: tone, pace, volume, facial expression, body language... key parts of communication which help us feel connected and help us understand one another's experience, not just the information our words contain. Many people try to cut back on the amount of texting or direct messaging they do out of concern that they may be misunderstood, or because they don't feel the same emotional satisfaction that they receive from other types of communication where more non-verbal indicators are present. It can be easy to misinterpret someone's intent or misunderstand a joke because the context or other cues are limited in written-only communication forms like email, SMS or DMs.
Emojis have risen to prominence because they allow us to bring back some of the tonation, expressions, and other cues that are missing from written words.
Let's look at a real-life example of this. Imagine you've started dating a person you really like, and you went on a fantastic night out with them. The following day, you send them a flirty text recalling one of your highlights from last night. Your interaction looks something like this:
This response probably feels jarring. You flirted, but they didn't flirt back. Did they not have as great a time as you? Is your comment about their appearance unwelcome? Are you annoying them? The subtext of this message might lead you to believe that the person you're dating prioritizes their professional life higher than communicating with you. The abrupt tone of the message suggests that you’ve done something unwanted. You've been rebuffed, and left wondering why the person you had a great time with last night doesn't want to continue connecting with you today.
Let's run that text exchange again, with only one small difference.
This time, our date included an emoji blushing and covering their mouth... which completely changes the tone, context, and entire meaning of their message!
Now instead of shutting down our attempts at flirting, they're letting us know that they are enjoying our attention to the point that the strong, happy feelings we've evoked with our compliment are now distracting them from doing their job. They're gently setting a boundary that work is important and they can't be distracted right now, while also encouraging us to flirt once working hours are over. They've confirmed for us that our attention and compliments are very much desired, and we now understand that we're not being rejected. We're encouraged to flirt even more—but at the appropriate time, which is established as being after work.
One little emoji changed not only the message's meaning, but also completely flipped our emotional reaction receiving it! That's how powerful of an indicator a well-placed emoji can be.
Emojis are a form of self-expression.
Emojis are a way to express our personality, our emotions, and ultimately to communicate something of our internal landscape to others. Many people benefit from using emojis! Those who are shy or struggle to express themselves verbally can find it easier to communicate through images like emojis or memes. Emojis can also be helpful for people with sensory disabilities who may not be able to assess things such as tone or body language when in-person, or people with processing disabilities such as Autism who may struggle to interpret context without non-verbal cues. Blind technology users are also included in emojis, as screen-reading software will describe the emoji automatically. This way, everyone can understand the image and its meaning.
Prior to emojis, online culture invented a precursor which allowed casual writers to indicate their meaning. These were called Tone Indicators, and were expressed as /j for joking or /s for sarcasm... not to be confused with /srs, which means you're being serious. You will still encounter people who use tone indication in text-only communication such as online forums, X (formally Twitter), and community message boards like Reddit. Conveying our tone and intent is a critical part of effective communication, and as humans we strive to include that meaning however we can; our quest is to understand others, and to be understood ourselves.
Some emojis have developed hidden meanings….
If you're just starting out with emojis, there's only one thing you need to be cautious about: certain emojis have developed sexual connotations—either because they are shaped like or rhyme with body parts, or through cultural references from films, television shows, and increasingly from social media. You'll want to know these social subtexts in order to decide when and if you want to use them. The emojis you need to know are:
🍆 Aubergine/Eggplant: which refers to a penis
🍑 🚛 Peach or Lorry/Truck: which means a butt
🐱 🌮 Cat or Taco: refer to a vagina
🍒 Cherries: indicate breasts, testes, or first-time sexual acts
💦 Water Droplets: refers to sexual fluids
🥵 Red Face With Sweat: suggests a person is aroused
🌽 👀 🌶️ Corn, Eyeballs, or Pepper: refer to nude selfies, pornography, or other adult images
You'll want to refrain from using the above emojis outside of messages with your intimate partner.
Is it ok to use emojis at work?
As a general professional rule, emojis do not belong in workplace correspondence; however, in casual work communication on Slack or other team messenger applications emojis can help you convey context, urgency, or intent. Several emojis are used as shorthand for common workplace phrases or concepts, making it faster for you to communicate these ideas with your team. These emojis can save valuable time, especially in industries such as medicine and first-response when response time is critical.
Here are a few emojis that are always workplace appropriate, and their meanings:
👍 Thumbs Up says: “I acknowledge and agree.”
🕒⌚⏰⌛ Clock, Watch, Alarm, & Hourglass say: “There’s an important deadline we need to be aware of.”
📱 Smartphone says: “I’m replying from my phone, I’m not near my computer right now so my ability to participate is limited.”
🚗✈️🚆🧳 Car, Airplane, Train, & Luggage say: “I’m traveling. My ability to respond is limited.”
⛔🚫 Prohibited & No Entry say: “I’m in a meeting, working on an important project, or otherwise unavailable. Please do not disturb.”
💪 Flexing Bicep says: “We need a team effort.”
👆 ⬆️ Finger Point Up & Up Arrow say: “I agree with what was said in the comment above.”
🏠 House says: “I’m working from home.”
🖥️ Computer says: “I’m at my desk.”
Is there a reason some people don’t use emojis?
If you are someone who has refrained from using emojis in texts or other casual social messages in the past, I would invite you to examine why you haven't used this tool that’s available to you.
Did someone perhaps tell you that because you're older, you might struggle to use emojis or understand their occasional hidden meanings? Have you read articles saying that using emojis makes you seem unprofessional or juvenile? Are you concerned that people may make judgements about you based on the emojis you choose—maybe that it's unmanly to include a heart emoji, and you should stick to more traditionally masculine expressions like a thumbs up? I ask you to weigh if any of these social messages about emojis are true for you, and to consider that including an occasional emoji in your messages to friends and loved ones could be an opportunity to express more of your internal world with the people who care about you the most.
Emojis can be a powerful tool for reducing the anxiety many people experience surrounding our more casual modern communication style. Using emojis as enhanced, more flexible and personal Tone Indicators can help anyone worried about being misunderstood, or coming off as cold or unpleasant via text. Because we’re typing without the ability to see or hear each other, emojis are a tool to bridge that communication gap, conveying our intent and emotions along with our word choices. Your confidence in using emojis to further express yourself can encourage others to be more expressive, too!
So go ahead and give emojis a shot. You’ve got this! 💪
